Facebook營運長Sheryl Sandberg：你們要有扛過一切悲傷的能力

「你會成為什麼樣的人，不單單由你的成就決定，而是你面對困境的態度。」Facebook營運長Sheryl Sandberg今年5月在加州大學柏克萊分校畢業演講，首次分享她面對丈夫驟逝，如何從刻骨銘心的巨慟中，建立起自己的恢復能力？

進入本文前，請先想想如何表達以下單字：
(A) 空虛
(B) 逆境
(C) 永久性 

After the sudden death of Sheryl Sandberg's husband Dave, she (1) sank into the fog of sadness. The (A) emptiness and sorrow filled her heart and lungs. She could not think nor breath. Dave's death completely changed her life. She experienced the brutality of life, and realized that encounter with emptiness and the challenge of life. She can choose joy and meaning.
Sheryl Sandberg的丈夫Dave驟逝後的數月，她陷入愁雲慘霧之中，空虛與悲傷占滿她的心與肺，她無法思考也無法呼吸。Dave的離開徹底改變她的生命，她感受到生命的殘酷，也了解面對生命的虛無與挑戰。

Sheryl Sandberg thought it is the hard day that challenges you determine who you are. How you survive the (B) adversity defines you, not just your achievement. Understanding the myth of psychology's three P's can help us come to terms with the ending of all good things.
Sheryl Sandberg認為，正是那些艱難的日子決定你成為什麼樣的人，人的價值不單是來自成就，也是在逆境活下去的勇氣。她提到理解心理學中的三個P的迷思能夠幫助我們面人生的失落。

以下摘錄她演講中提到的三個P：Personalization, Pervasiveness, Permanence，

Personalization
“The first P is personalization—the belief that we are at fault. This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do. This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.”
心理學迷思1：個人化
「第一個P是個人化，以為都是自己的錯。這和負責任是兩回事，負責任指的是你做了該做的事。我們要知道：並不是所有發生在我們身上的事情，都是因我們而起。」 

Pervasiveness
“The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life. You know that song “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There's no place to run nor hide from the all-consuming sadness.”
心理學迷思2：普遍性
「第二個P是普遍性。以為一件事一旦發生，整個人生都搞砸了。記得一首歌 《一切好極了》嗎？這種心情正好相反，叫《一切糟透了》，當人被悲傷消耗殆盡，根本無處可逃。」

(c) Permanence
“The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever. For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.…Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever.”
心理學迷思3：永久性
「第三個P是永久性，以為傷痛會永遠揮之不去。有好幾個月，無論我做什麼，我還是感到破碎的哀傷走都揮之不去。…我們應該接受自己的感覺，但要知道它們不會永遠都在。」

At the end of the speech, she expected all the Berkeley graduates to trust themselves that they could go through any difficulties. Build resilience in yourselves! When the challenges approach, I hope you (2) bear in mind that only by inner strength can you (3) prevail against life's ups and downs. As the saying goes: we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined.
演講最後，她期勉柏克萊畢業生，相信自己有能力度過任何難關。在挫折中建立自己的復原力，當挑戰來時，請牢記只有倚靠你內在的力量才能戰勝人生的波折，就如同俗話說的：我們比自己認為的還要脆弱，但我們也比自己想像得還要強大。 

口語字彙

1. sink into 陷入、滲入
陷入某種消極或不愉快的狀態
She let herself sink into despair. 她讓自己陷入絕望的狀態。

2. bear in mind 謹記在心、切記
也可抽換詞面為 keep in mind
We must bear in mind that imagination is far more important than knowledge. 
我們必須切記，想像力遠比知識更加重要。

3. prevail against 戰勝…；擊敗
They will prevail against all challengers. 他們會擊敗所有的挑戰者。

參考資料：entrepreneur.com

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