「Fail again. Fail better. 越錯,越好」 -- 彼得.汀克萊傑

一說到好萊塢的演技實力派侏儒,就一定不會錯過彼得.汀克萊傑!身高只有135公分的他,一出生就罹患軟骨發育不全症,之後的成名之路也是非常艱辛。然而,當他回過頭,從新面對當初挫敗的過往,他引用了知名小說家貝克特的名言,作為最強而有力的回應:「每次失敗都要摔得更漂亮。」

Before you read

Peter Dinklage
彼得.汀克萊傑
1969年6月11日

WHO

Peter Dinklage在HBO知名影集《權力遊戲Game of Throne》中扮演提利昂.蘭尼斯特(Tyrion Lannister)一角,他曾多次受到艾美獎及金球獎提名,於2011年、2015年、2018年獲得艾美獎最佳男配角,成為艾美獎70年來,首位以同一齣戲劇奪得最多次最佳男配角的演員。

WHAT

Peter Dinklage的星途並非一帆風順,戲劇學校畢業後的他,曾與朋友在Williamsburg一同創辦劇團,最後無疾而終。此後演藝生涯便沉寂了8年,直到29歲成功轉型成專業演員之前,他曾為了養活自己,只好在夢想上妥協,想做一名數據工程師。

HIGHLIGHT

早期受重金屬樂團Steppenwolf啟發,90年代時Peter Dinklage在龐克樂團 Whizzy 中,擔任饒舌歌手與小喇叭樂手。他曾在一次樂團表演時,意外摔倒割傷臉,造成臉上留有一道從脖子延伸到眉骨的傷口,和《權力遊戲》中Tyrion Lannister的人物設定不謀而合。

差點就不演《權力遊戲》了

Peter Dinklage在未成名前,儘管經濟拮据,他仍拒絕在廣告中扮演小妖精和小精靈,努力要表明自己是個演員,只是剛好身材矮小而已。此外,Peter Dinklage一度不想接演提利昂.蘭尼斯特一角,因為他不希望再去扮演一個沒有深度、只會加深侏儒刻板印象的角色。

 --------------------------------------------------------------

演講節錄

節錄自2012年Peter Dinklage返回母校本寧頓學院發表的畢業演講致詞。演說中Peter Dinklage跳脫了講稿,用即興幽默的口吻與畢業生分享過去的辛酸。

畢業後2年的青春很熱血,也衰老得很快

After two years of job and couch surfing, I got a job in application processing as a data enterer at a place called Professional Examination Services, and I stayed for six years. Six years! Longer than my time at Bennington. I hated that job and I clung to that job. Because of that job, I could afford my own place.

經過兩年找工作和到處借睡沙發的流浪日子,我得到一份應用程式處理的工作,在一間名為「專業考試服務」的公司擔任資料輸入員。我在那裡待了六年,六年!比在大學待的時間還久。我討厭這份工作,卻依賴著這份工作,正是因為它,我才有能力負擔房租。

My dream of running a theater company with my friend and fellow Bennington graduate, Ian bell, had died. I won't go into those details, but neither one of us had any business sense. And the theater we lived in had no heat or hot water. We didn't smell very good. But we had our youth, but youth gets old very quickly. You’ll see.

我和本寧頓的朋友兼同學Ian Bell共組劇團的夢想已宣告破滅,我不會去詳述細節,但當年我們倆都沒什麼商業頭腦,我們所住的劇院沒有暖氣或熱水,我們全身發臭,但我們擁有青春,不過青春很快就會衰老,將來你們就懂了。

困頓十年,29歲才決定重新展開演員生涯

So, Ian moved out to Seattle. I moved up the street to my loft, and I still didn't have heat. In 1993, industrial loft meant not legal to live there. I don't want this to sound cool and I feel like it's sounding cool. Ad lib! But I did have hot water — hot water in my bathroom, which a friend of mine using that bathroom once shouted, it smells exactly like a summer camp in here.

此後,Ian搬到西雅圖,我搬到同條街上的公寓,住所仍然沒有暖氣。1993年時,工業建築改建的公寓是不合法的住宅。我不希望這聽起來很酷,但這聽上去還感覺挺酷的,開個玩笑而已。但我的房間確實有熱水,浴室裡終於有熱水了,只是有次朋友借用浴室時驚呼:「這裡面就像夏令營一樣臭!」

I had only the one window. I myself could not look out the window. It was quite high. So, I had no heat, no girlfriend, no acting agent, but I had a cat named Brian who told me of the world outside.

我的房間只有一個窗戶,窗口很高,我看不到外頭。當時的我沒有暖氣、沒有女朋友、沒有經紀人,但我有隻叫布萊恩的貓,牠告訴我窗外的世界是什麼樣子。

I stayed for 10 years. No, don't pity me. There's a happy ending. When I was 29, I told myself the next acting job I get no matter what it pays, I will, from now on for better or worse, be a working actor. So, I quit my position at the Professional Examination Services.

之後我在那裡一待就是10年。不,先別可憐我,這個故事有個圓滿的結局。29歲時,我告訴自己:無論下一個演出工作酬勞多少,從現在起,無論好壞,我都要成為職業演員。因此我辭去專業考試服務公司的工作。

別費心徵求許可,辭職做演員是自己的事

I got a low-paying theater job in a play called Imperfect Love, which led to a film called 13 Moons with the same writer, which led to other roles. I've worked as an actor ever since. But I didn't know that would happen. At 29, walking away from data processing, I was terrified. Ten years in a place without heat. Six years at a job, I felt stuck in. Maybe I was afraid of change. Are you?

我找到一份酬勞微薄的工作,參與舞台劇《不完美愛情》的演出,之後,同一個編劇的作品《十三個月亮》要開拍時,我又獲得了演出的機會,此後我獲得了一個又一個角色,展開演員生涯。但回到29歲離開資料處理工作時,我不知道會發生這些事,十分害怕。十年來住在沒有暖氣的地方,六年做著同一份工作,我感到受困其中。也許我害怕改變,你們呢?

--

The world might say you are not allowed to yet. I waited a long time out in the world before I gave myself permission to fail. Please, don't even bother asking, don't bother telling the world you are ready. Show it. Do it. What did Beckett say? "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."

這個世界或許會說你還不夠格去做某件事。我出社會後,等了很長一段時間才允許自己不再抵抗失敗,我懇求你們:別費心徵求許可,別費心告訴這個世界你準備好了,就好好展現自己、實際行動。貝克特是怎麼說的?「嘗試過,失敗過。沒關係,再嘗試,再失敗,摔得比上次更好更漂亮。」


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收錄於英語島 2019年9月號
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