一年總有個三百六十幾天，不想去上班

If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work.
如果死後直接下地獄，我需要花一個禮拜的時間才會發現自己不是在工作。

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit – you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.
有時候把工作做得好就像是穿深色西裝尿褲子，自己感受到一股暖意，但無人知曉。

Everybody brings joy to this office… some when they enter, some when they exit.
大家都為辦公室帶來歡樂，有些人是因為到來，有些人則是因為離去。

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
我用早退來彌補我總是遲到。

There's no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.
沒有什麼比老闆去度假更好的假期了。

When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
你不工作，是因為懶惰；老闆不工作，是因為太忙碌。

本文收錄於英語島English Island 2019年7月號
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