中級版:業務洽談Making a Request
錯誤範例
To: margaretcarter@email.com
Subject: Delay in Payment (1)
Dear Ms. Carter,
Due to some recent issues (2), we want to extend the payment date by three months (3). Please see the attached file for more details (4). Thanks in advance (5).
Regards,
Steve Rogers
錯誤(1) 這封信是為了表達「請求」,因此主旨不應該直接用命令或直述的語氣。
錯誤(2) 必須寫明請求的原因,即便不方便透露太具體的細節,還是必須大略簡述,讓對方感受到誠意。
錯誤(3) 不可直接寫出「想要」,而是詢問對方能否提供協助或接受提議。
錯誤(4) 請對方查看附檔時應該寫明檔案內容是什麼、為何對方需要看,而不能只是草率地表示「更多細節請詳見附檔」。
錯誤(5) 信件的結尾除了感謝對方之外,也必須表示自己可以隨時提供更多資訊或協助,Thanks in advance在此處有種「強迫對方」答應的感覺,讓整封信的氛圍變得不像請求而是命令。
正確範例
To: margaretcarter@email.com
Subject: Request for an extension on payments
Dear Ms. Carter,
Due to the unforeseen circumstances of the global pandemic, we are experiencing an overdue balance on our account. (1) Therefore, we would like to request an extension on our payments by three months. I have attached a file that includes our past payment records and the extended due date for future payments. (2)
Please let us know if this is agreeable, or if we need to make other arrangements. Thank you very much for your consideration of this request. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation as we recover from this temporary financial setback. (3)
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Tip
業務洽談的Email須包含三個要素:原因(1)、行動(2),及禮貌的結尾(3)。原因是寫這封信的理由,行動指的是你希望對方合作的事項,禮貌的結尾則是展現你的誠意及感謝之意的機會。每個要素的措辭精準到位,就更有機會達成洽談的目標。
提出請求,盡量用中性、有禮貌的字
Xwant(想要) O would like(希望可以)
Xask(要求) O to see if… (是否可能)
Xplease see/contact(請對方執行動作) O please let us know… (應表達主動)
另外要注意的是,maybe、just 帶有不確定感,very、really 則會弱化句子、帶有口語感,也要避免使用。
本文收錄於英語島English Island 2021年4月號
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